This is for the girl who keeps crying at night

This is for the girl who keeps crying at night.

I was 5 or maybe 6 when I first felt that I wasn’t the favorite. Little did I know, that little fact would blossom into an ugly insecurity that will never go away – no matter how much I destroy its home.

It started from knowing you’re not the favorite to knowing you’re not the priority. Soon enough, when you were 12 – you knew there wasn’t something special in you. Then you were 18 when you discovered you will never be enough.

This is for the girl who keeps crying at night, staring at the mirror and pointing out her flaws. On some days, there are cuts on her wrists but most days, only bruises on her heart where she has been hit the most.

She has heard one too many lectures about not putting her heart on her sleeves or exposing her feelings like jewelry on a wealthy woman’s neck. She has heard far too many stories of men leaving and people didn’t even turn their heads to listen.

Sometimes she wishes people to not just tell her they love her – but to show her as well and choose her every single day. Sometimes she wishes people would choose to stay – no matter how complicated she gets.

Because trust me, she doesn’t really want much. She doesn’t care about your money or your job or your bank account. 

She just wants someone to love her and choose her everyday.

She’s not easy to be with, this I tell you. She will make mistakes, break down and hurt you. She will stress the shit out of you and sometimes, you will want to give up, I swear.

Don’t tell me you won’t because you will want to – but please don’t.

Please don’t give up on the girl who has lived her life being second to everyone she puts first. She makes mistakes but she will never look for someone else to replace you. She will stress you out but kiss your worries away. She will break down but stand up on her own, just stay beside her. She will hurt you but not intentionally and she will learn from it and not repeat it.

This is for the girl who keeps crying at night – please, love, stay strong.

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