Im not sure if he knows but there’s a girl that loves him so.
I do know for sure that the wind does – it could’ve been the hundredth time that she has whispered your name with the words,
“I miss you.”
“I love you.”
“I hope you’re okay.”
“Give me a chance.”
It’s those words that brings pain to her soul and your name that brings tears to her pillows. It wasn’t her that’s crying though – I think, or that’s what she wants everyone to think. I don’t know what’s wrong with her pillows lately but every time she lays down, they seem to cry. I think they constantly get drenched in prayers and stories she wishes she could tell you personally.
Do you remember those kitkat benches you used to sit on during your lunch dates? I went there last night and they told me a secret. They said they missed you there. They wish it wasn’t too soon, wish you could still hug the girl who frequents their benches every night and tell her that you missed her or that she looks wonderful tonight – just like you used to. That girl looks silly to be honest. At night, she brings in her snack and her dandy little tumbler to one of the benches and talk by herself. I think she’s imagining that you’re still there, listening – or that one day, you’ll actually be there, listening.
I wonder how her pens and paper feel about you sometimes. Your name is all she ever wants to write. You know, words and writing are her escape and sometimes, when she writes about you – she gets her hope back that one day, you’ll message her saying that you’ve read it and loved it – like you did before.
I also heard the mirror is getting tired of her gaze. Every time everyone is asleep, she pulls a chair by the mirror and stare straight into her own eyes. She tries so hard to remember the feeling of your gaze melting her, staring right into her, making her feel loved and stopping everything around her. She couldn’t exactly describe how it felt but it sure felt a lot like home. Then slowly, she would pull her hair to her ears and close her eyes and tries to remember you saying,
“I love you.”
“I will never get tired of you.”
“You’re the one.”
She breaks down every time she does that but she keeps doing it anyway. I once heard her say that you’re worth all the pain and the waiting. That one day, she won’t be doing this in front of the mirror because you’d be there to pull her hair to her ears and kiss her lovingly. Then, she would be reminded that truly, you are worth the pain and the waiting.
Don’t think she’s a softy though, I know what you’re thinking – she’s not. In fact, she’s one of the strongest people I’ve known. She’s moved mountains when she didn’t think she could climb one. That’s just how she was made. She was made to feel the pain, embrace it and sleep with it. She was made to go to war with only her pen and her heart as her armor. She loves exactly how she is and hopes that you would too. You are, after all, and always will be, her weakness.
I know you probably told her – no, one too many times but for her, a heart that loves is a heart that hopes.
So once you’re ready to come back – please bring a tissue, you know that woman. She’s been waiting for you.