I knew I was in love

I knew I was in love with you when you kissed my flaw on the middle of my waist. You didn’t mind that it was an ugly shade of black and that there were several bumps. 

I knew I was in love with you when you laughed with your cute metal mouth while we were in bed, half kissing and talking. You didn’t care that I just woke up and probably have morning breath. You didn’t care about my disheveled hair and bare face. Did you know that when you smile – your real, genuine smile – your mouth is open wide and your eyes disappear and boy, do you look so perfect.

I knew I was in love with you when you volunteered to refill my gravy repeatedly with an excited look on your face even when you don’t want me to use up as much because it’s not healthy. You didn’t mind the hassle or that our table is a little faraway from the refilling station.

I knew I was in love with you when you held my head when we were watching Anabelle. You laid my head on your shoulders and held it close to you with your arms shielding it from the large screen because you know I get scared easily. You didn’t care that you paid in full and I didn’t even watch half of it because my eyes were closed.

I knew I was in love with you when we watched Neil Hillborn’s spoken word piece and a couple more from other poets and you looked genuinely interested. You always paid attention to the things I like and show your interest to it. 

I knew I was in love with you when you opened yourself up to me. I realized I wanted more of you and that I want to be there for you through every rants, struggles and problems that you go through. I wanted to listen to your beliefs and stories and sometimes we may not be aligned but you respected our differences.

I knew I was in love with you when you told me you didn’t care about the rumors spreading like wildfire. I was crying night after night and it only took one assurance from you and I was okay.

I knew I was in love with you when you took the time to observe and get to know me. You didn’t care that I don’t even talk much whenever we’re out together and that it takes a lot of time to get me to open up and you never displayed judgment once I did. You didn’t care that I used to inflict pain on myself – you just made an innocent joke about it and smiled. You never looked at me with pity.

I knew I was in love with you when your hands were cold and sweaty and told me you think you did something wrong and told your friends about me and my instagram page without asking for my permission before doing so. You looked so nervous and worried that I would get mad and I never met anyone that was so scared to upset me. 

I knew I was in love with you when you told me that I feel like the place you grew up in and your favorite comfort food. I don’t believe that homes can be found in people but when you said it, I believed every word of it.

I knew I was in love with you because you called our 3 am venture out to Mcdonalds beside the place we’re staying at an adventure and so is getting lost and finding our place. You didn’t care that it was hot and scorching outside and I promised that I would navigate our way and ended up getting us lost.

I knew I was in love with you when you told me that if we’ll live in the same house, you want my mom to be with us. It didn’t matter that you don’t know her yet and if she’ll be a pain. You loved not just me, but my family.

I knew I was in love with you when you started planning our future because I never expected anyone to be that serious and excited to be spending their days with me. You planned everything from the location, to the house and the children. You didn’t care that I didn’t know much about house chores or cooking.

I knew I was in love with you when you told me I looked beautiful and you didn’t know that I have been staring at the mirror that day, pointing out my flaws. You didn’t care that I was bare faced or I was wearing the simplest outfit. 

I love you not because of your cute cheeks which I undoubtedly love and not because of your ~nice~ body although I like that too. 

I love you for all the little things that you do. I love you not because you told me you love me. I love you just because I do.

I know sometimes I tend to deliver the wrong message. I know sometimes I say the wrong words and do the wrong things but please, never doubt how much I love you because I never saw my future the way I did with you.

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