You were once mine

I can see you kissing her with lips that once whispered they love me.

I can see you kissing her with mouth that once spoke words of comfort and encouragement

I can see you kissing her the way you used to kiss me.

There are days when I don’t know how to handle the masochist in me

It keeps beating on me, making me think of things I didn’t want to – like your hands on her thighs, chin on the top of her head or arms around her waist.

There are days when I’ll close my eyes and see you looking at me – with eyes that once roamed my body and never saw flaws, your hands are gentle but firm and makes me soften around you and your laugh that echoes around the room and I just love the thunder it brings.

You were once mine

I used to hold the world inside my palms and now, it’s in another’s and sometimes, I just don’t know how to handle them. I used to think I still hold the thread that connects me to you – somehow, I used to believe that even after all the absences and new faces, you still love me.

You were once mine

And now, you’re hers – attention and love. For the first time in months, I am splashed with ice cold water that you no longer love me – not even a little bit. It hurts to think you now see the brightest stars in her eyes and mine is just a looming black hole. It hurts to think you now see the rays of sunshine in her smile and mine is just a dark cloud of smoke.

You were once mine

And now, you’re hers.

Believe me, sometimes I die a little just thinking about it and I think a part of me never resurrects back to life.

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